“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” ~Walt Whitman

A colleague of mine introduced me to this beautiful quote last summer and I immediately loved it because my creative purpose is about helping people see the complexity, and yet also simplicity, of creation within them. The potential that lies within us is astounding. Our ability to see things from many points of view grows as our intelligence grows. And the polar opposite occurs as well: As we grow, our decisions get easier and we value the simple things in life much more…

A Beautiful, Simple Place

When my husband and I go sailing on our adventures to other ports, we explore like children would, with an open mind and a curious heart. Recently, we hiked practically every inch of an island that intrigued us. It was a small island not visited by tourists much because it is “dry” (no alcohol) and is the center of the boat building craft in the northern Abaco islands so it is more like a commercial center, than a tourist attraction. We had heard that beyond the commercial boat building town, the island itself was beautiful and quaint in its simplicity. We ventured into the small port through a channel that was so narrow and shallow that when we tried to go there five years ago, we got stuck and could not get into the harbor. This time, since we were in a smaller boat, and much wiser about the approach, we made it in and moored in for the night.

The next morning, we boarded our dinghy and headed in to shore. Beyond the busy little town, we walked as far as the main paths would lead into the woods, then kept walking until we could sense a new beach presenting itself on the other side of the island. We explored wide, white beaches with clear blue water, where there was not a soul in sight. We stopped to listen to the warble of a very small bird and chased it for a while to capture a close up photograph.

A Life Well-Lived in Grace

At one point in our exploration, we saw one of the places we’d been looking for from reading the Cruiser’s Guide. Before us was a sign nailed on a tree saying “Lola’s Bakery” so we turned to head in that direction and the path stopped after ten feet. We guessed we should keep on going, and chuckled about how different the world could be in another place. Naturally, on an island, people would not hesitate to walk on beyond the path! Around the corner we found a small home and smelled cinnamon rolls and the aroma of yeast rising, but we were at the back of the house and didn’t know what to do, so we tapped on the window. A deep voice inside said, “Go around to the front stoop..” so of course we did. Our stomachs were growling because we had hoped to find a coffee shop on the island and after an hour we had not found anything remotely akin to a food offering open at all. Rounding the corner, a small woman in an apron was hanging wet laundry out to dry on the clothesline and said, “Come on in and see what we have today!” Her cheery face was welcoming and kind. We loved her instantly. As I turned to greet her, I caught sight of a small shed next to the house, filled to the brim with the most gorgeous conch shells I have ever seen. All polished and displayed on every piece of available surface in the little shed were natural treasures of the sea of the Bahamas…conch, conch, conch. Some must have been ten inches tall and all of them were colorful pieces of sea-art in pinks, golds, shades of orange and white. Lola invited us to go on in and pick one and explained that her husband Martin had been a conch fisherman. She explained that he’d recently retired and passed this trade on to his son, who now found these treasures, but that they were the best source on the island because of their cleaning method that would prevent them from smelling bad once you got them home. She apologized that their inventory had dropped down due to multiple visits from some local boy scout troops who had picked them over recently. I couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful than what I was seeing. As my eyes shifted over the faces of Lola and Martin, I decided that their faces were just as beautiful. In the final stage of life, the etchings of a life well-lived on the face of a happy elder is one of the most precious sights one can behold. Martin and Lola had wise eyes, filled to the brim with love and peace and delightful grace. The wrinkles at the corner of their eyes and around the edge of their lips told me that they smiled a lot and had loved deeply.

They invited us into their cottage by-the-sea and apologized for not having any loaves of home-baked bread. Lola explained that a frequent visitor from Massachusetts had called ahead and asked her to hold the two loaves she had baked earlier that morning. She said things had been a little hard lately and they couldn’t take a chance on baking more than would be purchased in a day or so. She had taken a fall a few years ago and broken a shoulder, so Martin had to help her now. He showed us what he had to offer, explaining that they only had one cinnamon roll left and it was small, but he had some rolls and pie. We bought the cinnamon roll that was at least eight inches wide and shared it for two days! We bought a conch shell from Martin’s collection, which he packed carefully in newspaper, took some photos of each of us with them and we were on our way. As we walked away, I felt emotion rising up within me and recognized it as deep appreciation for the love of a good life, well lived.

Garden of Creation

Continuing our journey, we headed toward the northern peninsula, where we knew another small harbor lay hidden in a circle of land. An hour later, after hiking down a long path that started in town and took us to the most remote part of the island’s windward side, we arrived at the end of the path. As we turned back, we started looking for a path that would give us beach access, so we could walk back on the beach instead of tracing the same return. Sandy paths winding off the main rocky walk up the north side of the peninsula lead to delightfully painted cottages in island colors. One, in particular, caught our eye because it was lime green and so artfully painted that we had to see more. We knew we were on private property, so we edged up the path slowly, hoping we could nose by un-noticed and find the beach. Approaching the homestead, we were welcomed by an archway labeled with the name “Key Lime Villa” and beyond the arch was the most amazing sight. An expansive garden filled with rocks, spices, vegetables, various fruit trees, lettuces and plants we had never laid eyes on before. In the garden, a man with long blondish hair under a straw hat was laboring in the garden and looked up. Caught snooping, we decided to say hello and he invited us into garden for a tour. Knox had been a sailor like us, was from the states and had decided to move there, so we had some interests in common and enjoyed a long conversation about their life on the island. He told of the nearly eight years of work he had invested in the garden and showed us the details of his work, building hedges of strong plants encircling the more fragile ones inside the garden walls. He had inherited his interest in gardening from his grandfather, he mused. The villa was small, he explained, but built well to survive the hurricanes that ravaged the islands every few years. It was very comfortable for he and his wife, Cheryl, who were both our age and this interested us, because it showed us a life very different from our own. We asked him about diving on the reef over the hill and his face lit up. He explained that he went skin diving every day of the year on the reef and often brought dinner home from his excursions. Fish, lobster, conch, crawfish and more. We told him about a close encounter we’d had a few days earlier when we almost dropped into the waters to snorkel at Sandy Cay Reef when someone warned us that a skin-diver had speared a sixteen foot Tiger Shark there a few moments earlier and that we’d better not go in just now. Knox laughed and explained that spear-fishing contained a serious risk of attracting that kind of attention!

A Witness to My Life

Approaching the end of the afternoon, we headed up the path Knox told us would take us toward the beach. I took my boat shoes off and ventured over the hill off the beaten path, looking for the isolated beach Knox had told us he walks to every day. As I topped over the hill the view literally took my breath away. A deserted, expansive, white beach with the most blue water I have ever seen in my life lay in front of us. Piles of brownish seaweed gave contrast to the while silk of the sand. My childlike parts wanted to squeal in delight and so I did and ran over the hill to the open space of ocean spreading out before us. The sun-baked sand between my toes, warmed me as I shivered in the chilly wind of the northern Abaco breeze. The sound of the waves crashing onto the beach lulled my normally busy mind to sleep and put me square in the moment with the most dear man in my life. The waves ventured for what seemed like miles up the wide, pristine beach and left a wet space for me to write a love letter to my husband of the best eleven years of my life. I had my iPhone in my pocket and captured a 360 degree video of the message in the sand, turning in a circle to capture the moment for us..taking in the beach, the waves, the sand and Dan throwing his hands up in the air and bowing at the end in dramatic closure. We marveled at the creative technology that allowed us to capture nature (such a contrast!) and some of the precious moments we shared that day on the island so that we could relive them over again later.

The evening was approaching, the sun was declining in the sky and the air was getting chilly. We headed back to our dinghy, which would take us back to our boat moored in the harbor. As we walked back to town and to the harbor, I thought about how I never wanted to forget this day. It put everything in my life into perspective and I was able to get a glimpse of what the next phase of our lives together might be like. I smiled inside and anchored into memory, the vision of my husband doing what he loves. Photography, sailing. diving, exploring..appreciating a simpler life. In that moment, I knew that our future is bright. No matter what we have or don’t have materially..we have each other, we have a world to explore, and we have creation to view. And most of all, we have a witness to our lives..watching each other do all of this.

May 2012 bring precious moments into the lives of many.

Pam Boney
Copyright January 2012

Are you restless and less focused than you used to be?  Maybe even bored… if you admit the absolute truth? If so, you are more than likely ready to go beyond what you currently know… It’s what we coaches call The Self-Imposed Glass Ceiling (Merrill) or the Upper Limit Problem (Hendricks).  This ceiling is there to keep you from taking risk and more than likely helped you survive a certain set of circumstances in your past.  But if you are experiencing a pervasive anxiousness rising up within you, chances are that you have outgrown them.  Most people need a hand-up from a knowledgeable coach when this happens.  Even coaches hire each other to work on subconscious patterns of behavior that need to evolve into more productive behaviors!  The need for a thought-partner is important because old patterns are insidious and will sneak up on you when you least expect it, resulting in an inevitable crisis.  Due to the subconscious nature of these buggers, you need someone else to help you unravel the wiring so you develop new patterns to replace them.  The good news is that this work can be fun.  I like to employ sentence completions (Branden) and Persona Play (Hendricks) to gently unravel the threads of old ways of behaving.  The bad news?  If you ignore them and don’t get help, you actually increase the chance of a crisis later and the damage will be worse than the work required to make course-altering  change now.

The Ultimate Truth

The outcomes of your life are the truth you can’t ignore. What you HAVE in your life right now is, without question, a direct reflection of what you currently FOCUS on every day.  If you don’t like what your current daily routines bring your way, then it’s time to make some new commitments that are more conscious and intentional.  Your dreams can be actualized into reality with some super-focused attention and I can help you shift quickly for change that is both tangible and personally fulfilling.  Today is the place to begin.  If you are committed to true change, I can guarantee rapid results in as little as 90 days.  I just hope you don’t wait for that crisis when so many years have already passed you by.  Life is an adventure if you focus on your conscious choices.

Do you dream more than others think is practical, but you believe in it anyway?  Those who leave a lasting imprint on this world are those who passionately pursue original ideas that leave a ripple effect spreading long beyond their life. People who are change-makers not only generate great ideas, they tenaciously pursue those ideas with a voracious willpower that transforms them into an innovation that sticks and changes the world in some way. Hopefully for good.

The complex technology of our time has enhanced our lives in untold ways, but it has also increased the risks of poor leadership. Capitalism is THE governance structure through which we can most freely act on our individual right to freedom of expression and offers us extensive opportunity to exercise choice through our work. However, if we waste that opportunity in service of self-absorbed agendas that give no consideration to unintended consequences means that we hold a short-term view and care not how we leave this world after we are gone. Conscious leadership is concerned with consequences beyond those that affect us short-term and include a wider view with a world perspective. Those leaders who generate productivity and progress as well as regenerative impact are those who will leave a legacy of strength to future generations.

If you have a BIG IDEA that contributes change to the world, I would love to support you through your work.

Too many people I know are carrying out the duties of their life without really being in touch with what they really long to be doing.  Somewhere along the line they bought into a set of beliefs, roles, labels and duties that make up the daily activities of their life.  When life unfolds this way, we sometimes don’t notice that we missed our calling or creative purpose at some fork in the road and went down the wrong side.  Sometimes it’s the side that someone else wanted us to take, and we went along.  Sometimes its the path of least resistance.  Sometimes it’s simply not knowing ourselves as well as we could because the activities of life kept us so busy we forgot that we have a CHOICE about what we do with our hours and days.  Sometimes it means that the purpose of our life has changed because our roles have changed and now we are lost in finding what’s next?

Whatever it is, there are seasons of life where it is time to be still and listen to the calling of our innermost nature, to listen to the call of our spirit for something that we MUST do before we leave this world.  Something we have perhaps always longed to do, but did not have the courage to go for it.  Or we listen to others who have their own wishes for what we do and tempt us to stay the same for their sake, but secretly we long to actualize this creative energy that is now causing anxiety or tension that won’t go away.

I believe we all have defining moments in our lives that offer critical choice points.  If we’re on the treadmill and too busy to notice, those moments slip by us unnoticed, but our psyche cries out inside that something is amiss because we have now betrayed ourselves and alienated ourselves from our true creative purpose.  It nags at us through boredom, apathy, lifelessness, or constant agitation and irritation with those around us.  The disquiet in our inner world rises up and becomes too loud to ignore, but we don’t know how to make it go away.  From the many clients I have worked with, what I can tell you is that it WON’T go away….not until you do something about it.  In fact..if you continue to ignore it, the gentler hints that you need to change will grow ever more challenging until you finally get what I call the “brick in the head” wake up call.  Many a client calls me when this happens and I am happy to work with them.  But wouldn’t it be more effective if you called before the brick?  It is much preferable to do the work early. before the wake-up call, before the crisis, before the tragedy, before the epiphany that you will inevitably have.

People who are living a conscious life know IT TAKES TWO to do the dance of drama, conflict, chaos and stress. They also know some of all three is normal, but prolonged adrenaline causes all sorts of physical problems, so they choose the inner circle of relationships in their life wisely. And they choose to live, hang out, and work with those who also possess that calm inner core and clear direction. They don’t stay in the red zone of the drama quadrangle (Victim, Bully, Escapist, Critic) for more than short periods of time. Clear discernment based on their own inarguable truth helps them make a quick shift and get out of THE GRIP where negative patterns repeat over and over. Choosing peace, calm and comfort is not as easy as it looks on the surface, because it requires tremendous integrity and a commitment to personal responsibility of a higher order. It requires that some people won’t like your choices and will fall out of your life. Others will adjust because they, too, understand the value of your right to choose for yourself and will respond with dignity and respect.

Boundaries require COURAGE

Justice does not result from compassion alone. It results from large measures of compassion BALANCED AT THE SAME TIME by equal measures of COURAGE. One without the other becomes a perversion of a good thing. For some reason, we often think we have to fight and bully to achieve justice in the world, when all that does is break down the bridge we might build to relate more effectively. When packaged together, assertive courage and compassionate understanding represent the most powerful mixture of emotional balance that allow the truth to surface in a whole different way. We are not yet evolved enough to embrace the full potential of this idea, so we continue to rush back and forth between polarities that cause division instead of building bridges for better communication and relationship. Perhaps, with stronger leaders, we have a better shot of getting there in the future. Humankind is growing ever more enlightened as we increase our access to knowledge. So, there is hope.

Tilt Psychological Structures (PDF)

Will you be part of this growth in consciousness? Start today, by stepping off this crazy treadmill.  Decide to stop sleepwalking through life and work.  Decide to become more conscious.  Learn more about this vicious cycle and reduce the chaos by being an example of the calm voice of reason.

Think of a leader you most admire and what you needed most from them in order to bring your best self to work?  This exercise will inevitably conjure up such personal traits as trustworthy, composed, courageous, gracious, assertive, inspiring, confident, consistent and more commendable traits.  But notice that what you won’t mention you needed are business competencies because these are a given!  If a leader is not competent, let’s hope they didn’t make it into a leadership role at all.  Notice also that there are people with big titles who are competent, intelligent and very driven, but they are still a jerk.  My question is, why is it that most companies don’t have a measure for THAT?  I call this the Tilt Factor and we have a measure for it. 

What you measure creates behavior that sticks

I have worked two decades to create a valid measure for the Tilt Factor because I want to end the potential for jerks to end up being the people who take your company and our institutions down the drain with bad behavior.  I believe that Capitalists can also be good people who care about their impact in the world.  I think all people deserve dignity and respect no matter what kind of work they do, no matter how simple or tactical.  It’s simply human decency.  And it’s pretty basic.

The two tenets for great leadership

There are two factors that make a leader great.  ONE is that they have a strong sense of self-esteem and are comfortable in their own skin.  They know they are not perfect, and when they aren’t, they know how to commit to their own growth.  They’re conscious of the impact and choose to do better.  They don’t care about being perfect, nor do they require you to be either, and this is what makes it so great to work with them.  They’re continuous learners who take responsibility for their choices and are easy to be with because they’re real and authentic.  They’re also competent, smart and driven because they believe in the right to express their voice and lead where they stand.  They demonstrate integrity and their actions match their words.  They know not everyone is going to like them and they know how to have healthy relationships with others who also take responsibility for their actions.  They don’t tolerate people who ignore healthy boundaries and they don’t stay in situations that force them to compromise their values.

TWO is about intention.  Great leaders operate from strength and possess an underlying positive intention toward others.  They don’t make decisions based on feelings, assumptions or vague opinions.  They base their judgment on facts and seek to operate from their truth.  They also seek to understand and respect the truth of others, even when it may be different from their own.  They rarely operate from fear, so they remain composed even under the most stressful situations. This solid anchor of emotional stability allows others around them to do the same.

Frequency of overused strengths is KEY

Many people are just as unaware of their strengths as they are of their weaknesses.  This can cause leaders to short circuit what they could actually achieve if they were aware of their strengths and could moderate them intentionally.  Personally, I believe there are NO WEAKNESSES.  There are only overused strengths that are enacted too frequently and cause others to move away from us and run for protection.  GREAT leaders know their strengths and know how to apply the right amount of edge to the situation.  And they don’t miss-use their strengths or apply them to manipulate others.  They don’t revert to fear-based or coercive actions because they know the cost of bad choices made in the heat of the moment.

Everyone is a leader in the global economy…

We are all the leaders of our own lives, career and contributions to the world.  None of us gets guarantees today and if we don’t take full responsibility for our own outcomes (especially related to our need for continuous learning and development) we will absolutely be left behind.  We can’t wait for our companies to develop us, teach us and guide us.  We must guide our own path through the high risk conditions of a dynamic world economy. Having a coach and a personal board of advisers is not just wise, it could make the difference that will offer the edge needed to take advantage of premium roles and opportunities.

The “Whole-Brain Thinking” Tilt Factor

Leaders of the future are capable of four kinds of thinking and are more agile because of the development of all aspects of their thinking, including the ones least natural to them (The Shadow Element of Denied Self).  They demonstrate structured reasoning, critical reasoning, social reasoning and imaginative reasoning. The convergence of all four creates the Tilt Factor we call True Tilt Leadership Presence and generates a climate where team members generate prolific energy and creativity. Insights and ideas spring into disruptive innovation, which is the key to business success in a complex, global economy.

Take the Tilt Leadership Predictor and find out how much of the Tilt Factor you have now.  Then polish off anything you need to develop with practices that teach you how to think more creatively – because expansive thinking is the key to enlightened leadership of the future.

Collaborative teams and shared leadership are the model of the future. Hierarchy is fading fast because teams don’t need command and control to perform.  Creative, collaborative teams are THE structure of the global economy in any size company for any endeavor……because they are lean, agile and come together to create disruptive innovations that quickly replace current products and services. And Innovation is the single most important deliverable any company must produce to survive in the current business environment.

Smart companies are putting this idea to work and orienting work around key initiatives and projects.  They come together to deliver and they disperse when the job is done. It isn’t rocket science, but it does require knowing how to assist teams to be highly productive. This means NO personality drama, no politics, no having to put up with someone if they don’t produce, because effective teams that create the right climate naturally expel those who don’t gel with the rest of the group. Also, take the personality problems out of the mix so teams can focus on the creative work they are doing and zero in on the tremendous energy produced by a team that is razor-focused on exciting new outputs.

Here’s the challenge. You have to know how to create the CULTURE within which these teams can thrive.  To enable high-energy productivity, the structure, values, beliefs and commitments must be clear. CLARITY and STRUCTURE are key anchors for stability. Add positive social CONNECTION to the formula and you enable IMPACT.  Four kinds of thinking must be built into the team-level climate or the team will soar out of balance. Polarized individuals lead to divided teams and divided teams don’t produce innovation. Divided teams house individuals who more often keep their creative contribution to themselves, take it with them to their own start-ups or, worse, leave and join the competition.

So, how do you learn how to create team-level climate for creativity and innovation? I’ve researched exactly that for two decades and have built a structure and team measures that can show you visually and empirically exactly what to do to make the shift. The Tilt Team Climate Predictor and the True Tilt Team Model show the way and I will teach you how to shape the company culture to embrace this.

Is your culture full of stress, drama and politics, or is it creative, innovative and regenerative?  YOU CHOOSE. I can help you diagnose and change the climate in YOUR team in less than three months. All it takes is your commitment and some time to learn the ropes.